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Also, the decision as to whether or not the mate is good can be made with the emotional boundary of the shadchan who, if so desired by the couple, can call and talk to either side in the beginning stages of the dating to iron out issues that can crop up during the dating process.
Usually as the couple see more of each other the shadchan backs away and lets the couple manage it themselves.
It can also be used to express the seeming fate or destiny of an auspicious or important event, friendship, or happening.
The first recorded shidduch in the Torah was the match that Eliezer, the servant of the Jewish patriarch Abraham, made for his master's son Isaac (Genesis Ch. Abraham gave him specific instructions to choose a woman from Abraham's own tribe.
Also the age when shidduchim start may vary by community.
In frum circles, especially among Hassidim, eighteen is the age when shidduchim start and shadchanim take notice.
It's expected that the couple keep the shadchan up-to-date on how the shidduch is going at regular intervals.
If the shidduch does not work out, then usually the shadchan is contacted and it is he/she that tells the other side that it will not be going ahead.
At first, when people heard about Beit Shalom, said Rita Kluyov, the organization’s executive director, “they wouldn’t come to the programs.